Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
someone owes me an orgasm
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
