Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
