Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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