It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Quick, to the slutcave!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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