i just wanna soil my oats bro
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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