My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
