he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
