If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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