dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
