we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
