If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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