found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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