"it" just moved
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
