I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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