Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
