the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
