he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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