Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
