is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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