It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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