Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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