that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
