Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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