remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
