i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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