i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
