the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
