it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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