Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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