Apparently you make a good broom.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she pinky promised me she was 18
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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