I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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