I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
