I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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