Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
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Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
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Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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