he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
