I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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