How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
