I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
