Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She just used a chaser for red wine.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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