check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
