bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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