Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
