Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
