Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
