Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
