he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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