wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
