Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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