Dual....:-)
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
