i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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