ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
