Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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