epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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