he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
