your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
