so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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