So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
